prayers or agony

A few weeks ago as I planned this post, I wanted it to be about the New Year, but I also wanted it to talk about the many blessings that we have. I pictured this joyful celebration of blessing looking at what God might have in store for the new year for all of us. Then today happened.

As I write this, it has been a very unexpected difficult day. And frankly, I decided I couldn’t write a post about blessing. As I drove home very late this evening, I found myself telling God it was a terrible idea to do so and that I would just push the blog post to another day. Then in that 20 minute car ride something happened.

A song my husband Bryce wrote came to mind. It’s called “Prayers or Agony”

Everyone knows hard times

Everyone’s been on their knees

Times get tough like this

It’s either prayers or agony

You know the definition of agony? It’s extreme physical or mental suffering. I had a choice to make. I could pursue agony or I could trust God. As I thought about this contrast and what it looked like, I started to see all the good, God honoring parts of the day and my perspective started to change. And trust me, I wasn’t asking God to show me the good in the day. I was just spent. I gave all that I could to this day.

How many times have we walked through a hard time and made the right choice? The choice to trust God. A choice that our children see. One that impacts the faith of our parents and our children. Today was about my children, but the same is true for our relationship with our parents. Do they trust us? Have we decided to make the right choice in our relationship with them? The choice to trust them and allow them to trust us. And when that happens we become a blessing to them.

Bulgarian Honey

So now, I have a picture of honey beside a blog post that was originally meant to be a story about a sweet Bulgarian grandma who gave my husband a verbal blessing and that jar of honey. Well, that story will come another day, but I can offer you these words.

Praise be to the Lord,   for he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield;    my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy,     and with my song I praise him. - Psalm 28:6-7

So choose. Is it prayers or agony? Choose prayers. And choose trust. Let your heart leap for joy.

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody