when the house looks the same, check inside

We all experience transition. Sometimes, we don’t choose the change, it just happens. But at other times, it is self-imposed. That’s what happened to us at the farmhouse.

We love living on the family farm in Grandma Great’s farmhouse, but when we came to live with Grandma, we experienced change and transition that impacted every part of our lives. We were in a new location but we quickly learned that was just an outward result of what was happening deep inside each of us. By choosing to live with someone decades older than ourselves, we were all growing in character. We were learning our history and understanding why the past mattered.

On the outside, the brownstone farmhouse looked the same. But inside there was lively discussion about how to live with Grandma. There was growth in our children as they helped to care for someone ten times their age. There was frustration for our kids as they went from two parents to three when Grandma wagged her finger and scolded them when they ran up the steps. There was joy and maybe a little fear for all of us standing around the table eating mush for the first time. It was a transition that we couldn’t control, but with all the change, we learned how to adapt, adjust, and grow together as a non-traditional family.

That was years ago, but now we have a new transition. This time, it’s self imposed.

The Flurie Family On The Farmhouse Porch

The farmhouse still looks the same on the outside, but the inside is changing. We spent a whole day packing up our downstairs. Why? The paneling is finally coming down from those hallowed walls. It’s time for a change. As we appreciate the past, it’s time for some bright color and to shape the space so that it can be shared with the houseful of teenagers and young adults currently in our lives.

It’s a change and even though it’s a good one, it impacts our lives. We gathered as a family and worked hard to pack everything in boxes. Let’s be real here. If you have ever moved, you know it was packing boxes and bags, and random tidbits of things thrown in random places to complete the job. We’re displaced as the paneling comes down. The house still looks the same on the outside, but inside everything is changing.

I love change, but as we cleaned out the space, I paused for a moment realizing what was about to happen. It shook me. This place and this space that personified Grandma was about to change. That moment was startling. Transition changes us but we adapt, adjust and grow together in the midst of it.

When the house (or the person) looks the same, check inside. Is there a transition, self-imposed or not, in your life or the lives of your parents? Transitions are hard. Change builds character but it takes time. Moms and dads are well known for hiding their fears and protecting their children. Have you bothered to ask what’s going on inside?

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody