building a tradition of discipline

Isn’t discipline a scary word? Immediately we place ourselves in the era of our lives when we felt the most pain from doing something wrong. That is the definition of discipline, right? 

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, discipline is training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character. It is really understanding why change is necessary, learning how to modify who we are, and changing our behavior. It is often extremely difficult because it is the opposite of who we are right now at this very moment, and that change causes physical and mental pain. It is so much easier to stay the same. 

Let me tell you a story about how much discipline hurts. 

As a young college student fresh out of high school, I was pursuing my Bachelor’s Degree. I wasn’t a top student, but it was always easy for me to get the grades I needed. But, as I got into college, my attention shifted from classwork to relationships, specifically on where and with who my ex boyfriend was spending his time. My effort toward college waned and my grades dropped dramatically. 

Flunking Out Of College

Then the discipline came. I was kicked out of the teaching program and academically suspended with a whopping semester GPA of 0.94 to show for the work I had put in. But at least I passed square dancing. Since my parents were paying for college, I know the impact at home was great, but quite frankly, I have no memory of telling them. I was experiencing too much trauma from my dreams being pulverized by my own hand.

The only way to right this wrong was to take a semester off, which I did. Then pursue college credit at a community college, which I did. It took me almost two years to understand the change I needed to make and move from being punished to correcting my behavior. 

Ready to conquer the world, I went back to that four year college and graduated with a teaching degree. It wasn’t easy, I met with a lot of resistance. I was told that I would never get my GPA high enough to graduate with a BS in Education. All it took was a little gumption and a few fun aced classes my last semester  - like black and white photography - to raise my GPA. 

And then, I could student teach and graduate, except the registrar calculated my grades incorrectly. Once again, I was told the grades weren’t high enough and couldn’t be corrected in time for me to student teach. I was furious! I had worked too hard to hit another wall. But, thanks to one very determined professor who was on my side, the error was corrected quickly. I did my student teaching that spring, now married to my ex boyfriend. I was 3 months pregnant and puking from morning sickness every morning. But I had changed because I had been disciplined. I learned that if I wanted something bad enough, I had to focus on it and run toward it without distraction. And that is what I did. I was now a different person. 

Jody & Her Friend Graduating Pregnant Together

That is what discipline does. It corrects and redirects us. It helps us modify who we are and become better. And it helps our families. 

Let me tell you how.

The result of the discipline I experienced in college didn’t end when I graduated. It was now ingrained in me. And you know what happened? Years later, I went back to school and I graduated again. But this time, it was Magna Cum Laude with my Master’s Degree. That’s a far cry from a college drop out with a 0.7 GPA. 

Jody Graduating This Time With Honors

I didn’t do it because I’m smart. I did it because I was disciplined. I learned and grew. But that’s just the beginning. The experience of my past has created a legacy of discipline that has now become a tradition of educational discipline in our family. 

We often think of traditions as things that happen yearly around holidays - opening presents by birth order on Christmas day or having a turkey stuffed with great aunt Maggie’s filling recipe every year. But traditions are so much more than what we do on a holiday. And each family creates traditions that are repeated for generations. Educational discipline is one of ours.  

Our view, at times, is counter cultural. Even though it is right for some kids, we don’t push our kids to pursue a four year degree at college and graduate at age 22, deeply in debt, but ready to start a career that lasts their lifetime. Our family tradition is that our kids run toward what they want and make it happen. Just like I learned to do through the discipline of academic suspension. It’s a tradition that I hope eventually carries on through the next generations of Flurie’s - our grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

I rarely tell the story of my experience in education, but it does shape our family. It stays hidden for no other reason than I rarely talk about my educational accomplishments. What traditions of discipline do you have hiding in the shadows of who you are? Can your family see them? Should they? Kids don’t always do what we say especially when it doesn’t match our actions, but they will run toward the example we give in our legacy of discipline. 

We love traditions. I’d challenge you this week to think about your legacy of discipline and the traditions you can set with them. I guarantee your kids are watching you and waiting for you to guide them in this way.  

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody