from passion to poison control

Little girls love to dance. And we love to immortalize these moments. Cue the sound of music soundtrack - “I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly.” Whether our kids are natural dancers with amazing rhythm and finesse or they awkwardly wiggle with some obscure dance move like Elaine from Seinfeld, we encourage them to dance. 

Why? Because dancing is joyful and when we have joy, we feel peace. As dancers develop, they refine their artistic expression and grow their passion. They can lead their audience through a range of emotions. 

But for our little ones, it mostly gives us a reminder of the uninhibited joy of living. We want our kids and families to experience it. 

Not only is dancing joyful, but we want our kids to find their passion, be better than everyone else at it, and be known for what they do. We encourage them to dance to see if they are a ballerina in the making. And some of them are. Even the talented ones who make it have to work incredibly hard through tears, sweat, and disappointment to fulfill their dreams.

My daughter, Jael, was a ballerina and her friend, who was also a ballerina, was like that. An incredibly talented driven dancer who made it to Pacific Northwest Ballet. Jael wasn’t the passionate goal oriented kind like her friend, but the awkward rhythmless one who liked to dance and socialize with her friends. She was cute, faithful to weekly practices, and consistently got on stage to perform in front of scores of cheering parents and siblings. 

But learning to dance is hard work and weeks of practice whether you are naturally gifted or not. My daughter practiced every week. But she never improved. She was always the adorable little girl tripping over herself looking at the other dancers to see which direction to go. 

Jael - Trying To Head In The Right Direction

But parents are committed to helping their kids excel. Aren’t you? And dancing is a commitment. Hours of time, not only for practice, but for parents running back and forth to the studio. This was my least favorite part. Some parents love the car time with their children. I never did. I hated it. I could think of 1001 things I would rather do than tote a kid around. But I did it. And my parents did it, and my husband did it, and his mom did it because we were committed to letting Jael explore dance and the joy it can bring. 

Honestly, the best part for Jael was chatting with friends and the praise, prizes and gifts that the kids were given. Who doesn’t love a piece of candy or a glow stick at age 5? 

Me. That’s who. 

It was an evening dance class and I had just waited through the entire session. I picked up Jael and her glowing bracelets, quickly strapped her into her booster seat, and rushed down the road to our friend’s house. Our plans for after dance were way more important than this car ride. 

Jael was struggling in the back seat. I could see her in the rearview mirror. Let’s face it, parents and grandparents are obsessed with checking on the kids in the back of cars. I don’t know why. How much trouble can they really get into back there? 

Then the melt down began. You know the one. Where you physically see the child starting to emotionally lose it. Jael was upset and burst out crying, “My bracelet is stuck!” That made no sense to me, I could see the glow bracelets on her arm, but could also see her pulling at her body. “It’s stuck under me.” For goodness sake, she was sitting on the one she wanted. It was my fault, I buckled her in without looking, but I definitely wasn’t about to stop the car for that. I did the most reasonable thing. I told her to pull it. She did. 

Then she cried again, “It’s leaking all over me.” Jael can be a bit dramatic so I rolled my eyes and realized I was in for a very loud, emotional 30 minute car ride. If you have kids, you know the drill. I was so frustrated until I heard these teary eyed words, “I’M GLOWING!” 

There are times that you should glow. The day of your wedding. Carrying your first baby. Seeing your son graduate - touch and go at times, but you knew he could make it through. The first time you see your new grandchild. These are the times to glow, but definitely not in the back seat of an 80’s era, two tone green Ford LTD at 5 years old. 

I snapped to attention and looked in the mirror. There staring back at me in the dark was Jael. The only parts of her that I could see were the bright yellow glow spots all over her body from her glow stick. Have you ever broken one of these? It is amazing how far they can spread. 

I burst out laughing. That was not the correct response. She was madder and more emotional than before. Oops. I tried my best to calm her down and convince her to stop wriggling around spreading that dreaded glow liquid everywhere. 

It didn’t work and moments later I heard the fateful words that no parent wants to hear. “I got it in my mouth!” Now, here I am arguing with a 5 year old, trying to calm her down, and panicking because she has just eaten yellow glowing slime. 

I needed proof. “Open your mouth!” Her response - streams of tears. Once again. “Open your mouth!” Proof given. Her tongue was glowing. Now I was panicked but thankfully I used a little common sense and replied, “It’s ok, honey, I just need to call Pop.”

Moments later, I found myself on the phone trying to convince my husband that everything was fine despite the backseat teary chaos he was hearing through the phone. He called poison control. I waited. Turns out glow stick liquid is non-toxic. Thank God. And although the poison control operator was very professional, he did chuckle as he told my husband that he hates glow bracelets. Apparently, they are the reason for most of his incoming calls.

That kid glowed the whole way to our friend’s house - the one with the very talented career ballerina. And you know what, I’m proud of that ballerina and my own. 

Why? Because we can learn a lot from our little dancers who throw caution to the wind. They haven’t yet learned to be inhibited by the opinion of others. And that’s a good thing. 

When we care too much about what others think, we are paralyzed. We can’t save our family legacy because we want to be seen as the most amazing person that ever lived. Well, for the record, you can’t have that title. You’ll never beat out Jesus. He did more for us than you or I ever could. 

But our inhibition keeps us from rescuing our family legacy. We ask questions like, “What will they think of me?” But let’s stop for a moment. We are asking the wrong question. It is not, “What will my family think of me?” It is, “What can I give my family that will last for generations?” And what we can give are stories that share joy, show our faith, and display how we overcame life trials and persevered. We can also give them amusing stories showing how we dealt with our overly emotional glowing children. Those are the stories our families need to know.

We all have a lot to give. Don’t let it be lost. Even if you have to glow in the dark like Jael to do it. 

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody