it’s who you are

Do you know what it is like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders? We throw that phrase around rarely internalizing what it actually means. Let me create a picture of it for us. 

Sitting alone in the living room, we watch a world in turmoil knowing we are responsible for the well-being of a handful of people - our spouse, our kids, our grandkids - our income impacts daily what our family will eat, how they will dress, where they will go to school, and what they will get to do for fun. And it’s not just about money. Every decision we make affects whether our family will thrive or be crushed. Not only are they relying on us being great at what we do to provide an income, but there must be resilience to get through the tough days, strength of character to make the right choices, and enough energy left over to establish a foundation for each of our family members to flourish. Do you feel that weight? 

If you don’t, I’ll bet your dad does. In the midst of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders to provide for his family, he still finds time to be a loving father, handing down a bit of who he is to each of his children and grandchildren. 

In a perfect world, we all would have a great father who knows what it means to love his family. But when we don’t, it destabilizes us. Chris Tomlin has a song called Good Good Father that talks about the relationship between God and us, His children. 

It begins like this. 

I've heard a thousand stories of what they think you're like
But I've heard the tender whispers of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you're pleased
And that I'm never alone

You're a good good father
It's who you are, it's who you are, it's who you are
And I'm loved by you
It's who I am, it's who I am, it's who I am

Can you see in these words the start of what it looks like to be a good dad? Chris is talking about God, but also showing us how to look a little deeper into ourselves.. 

It’s who you are. And I’m loved by you. It’s who I am. Whether we have a great dad or not, who he is directly impacts who we are. 

My dad is one of the great ones. Until I was in second grade, my dad brought home the primary income for our family. He felt the pressure to provide for us in the best way that he could. It wasn’t always easy, but he did it. And in the midst of providing the very life sustenance we needed, he showed us who he is and began to build his legacy within us. 

Jody And Her Dad In 1982

Every dad is different, but we all get their hand-me-downs. My dad can fix just about anything with spare parts laying around. And when he can’t he knows a guy who can. He can always find the best sale and always has a pile of coupons and restaurant gift cards laying around. He loves being with my mom and his kids. And always has a plan to follow whether it is for the day or having the world's most detailed vacation itinerary. All of this and more makes him who he is. And it shows me who I am. 

I’m a scavenger. Why? Because of my dad. I accidentally scavenged an old shed and refurbished it into a new chicken coop for the farm. I’m a klutz. Got that straight from my dad too, although he tends to fall over ladders and through roofs more than I do. I usually just trip over my own feet, but I’ve mastered falling gracefully. If that’s really even a thing. But one of the greatest things that I got from my dad was subtle - unnoticeable by anyone but me. It was how he communicated to me as his daughter. 

I haven’t been a jerk to my mom in a long time - at least I don’t think so. But when I was, my dad would call me and say, “Jody, you were wrong, you need to make it right.” And eventually I would because I knew he was right. 

When I was growing up we would walk to church several Sunday mornings. Just my dad and me. Then our walks turned to early Saturday morning adventures with breakfast and yard sales. I hate early mornings, but it meant one on one time with Dad. He would map out a trip plan long before I was awake and off we would go. 

Jody And Her Dad Picking Florida Oranges In 1980

My dad values who I am and how I became that person through his influence. It was character changing for me. And, you know what? That is all a part of his legacy. And mine. The same subtle communication style he used with me, I now use with my kids. I look for time to spend with each of my children. I don’t always get it right. But when I do, it is good. I’m proud of my dad for who he is and who he has helped me become. 

Are you proud of yours? I hope so. Our dad’s often carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, just hoping and praying that you and I turn out alright. And just remember, how you handle the legacy your dad has given you will influence your family. If he has been a great dad, his family deserves to see and understand that through you. And if you’re a dad, or even a mom like me, I challenge you to make your kids proud of who you are so they want to live out your legacy. 

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody

PS. Dad, if you are reading this, I challenge you to find us the best yard sale this summer for an early morning run. And I’ll get up early even though I won’t like it.