let’s talk turkey

Let’s talk turkey. Not the actual fowl roasting in the oven this week but about Thanksgiving. Let’s get real and honest about this family tradition. 

In a Utopian world, flashing back to the ways of “Leave it to Beaver”, this holiday is constantly full of smiles and thankful hearts. It’s the one where we spend the week joyously planning out the Thanksgiving meal. Our pre-ordered or free turkey is ready for pick-up in time to completely thaw by Thanksgiving morning. The turkey is cooked to perfection while all the side dishes and desserts are masterfully created and served at the correct temperature. After a deliriously happy family meal where we all tell stories of how thankful we are, the men go off to watch football while the women clean up the kitchen with delight. 

So, maybe that perfect Thanksgiving happened one time, in the 1960’s to someone somewhere. But I doubt it. And it certainly has never ever happened that way for us. 

For as long as I can remember, Thanksgiving week has run the gamut of emotions, stress, and thankfulness. 

Right now, we’re in what I like to call the Dreamy Stage. It’s that imagined one from 1960’s with slightly less delineation between male and female roles after the meal. We make new recipes, start new traditions and everything turns out perfectly. And everyone joyfully spends time together!

First Thanksgiving Preparatory Chaos Stage

But as the Thanksgiving meal approaches, we hit the Preparatory Chaos Stage. Our dreams start to fall apart. Now, we’re running to 6 stores to find cranberries because every store in a 15 mile radius is sold out. And no matter how hard we look for the turkey lacers (those pointy needles that pin the turkey skin together to hold in the stuffing), they can’t be found. “When did we use them last? Easter? No. Christmas? No. Last Thanksgiving? They better not have gotten pitched with the turkey bones! Now, where’s that gravy ladle….” Everyone is on high alert with internal defense mechanisms at the ready, waiting to shout, “I didn’t do it!” And worst of all is pulling out the turkey and it is frozen hard as a rock. This is the moment when we all think we can defy science and contradict all the FDA approved methods to get this bird ready to cook! And then, defeated, we choose a safe method so we don’t poison our family.

Thankfully that stage of Preparatory Chaos usually ends after we realize we forgot to buy butter for the mashed potatoes and we join our family at the Thanksgiving table anyway. Now we get to the Live the Moment stage. This is the moment from the Bible in Ecclesiastes.

Seize life! Eat bread with gusto, Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure! Dress festively every morning. Don’t skimp on colors and scarves. Relish life with the spouse you love - Ecclesiastes 9:7-9a (MSG)

This is the most joyful time of our Thanksgiving. It is our time with family, sharing stories, sharing history, and being loved. 

But all too quickly we leave this moment, head into the incredible amount of work it takes to clean up after the meal, and look to the next event. Black Friday! Cyber Monday! No more time for family. No more time to be thankful. It’s time to shop for Christmas!

We Lived the Moment and now we hit the Overstuffed and Gimme More Stage. We gorge on Thanksgiving leftovers while we look for all the best sales. We plan our shopping strategy and spend like our life depends on it. These are the days for the best deals - for the gifts we give and the gifts we buy ourselves! We get to giving Tuesday and realize there is nothing left to give. We’re emotionally and physically exhausted as we head to work after Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving - that lifegiving day of purposeful thankfulness. 

Dreamy, Preparatory Chaos, Live the Moment, Overstuffed and Gimme More. How many of these stages do you go through? In our house over the years, we have hit everyone of them. 

It’s time to change these stages of Thanksgiving and make them reflect the holiday they encompass. We should Live the Moment on Thanksgiving Day, but if we continue through Ecclesiastes 9, we can see it is so much more than than just the celebration. It is for each and everyday of our lives.

Seize life! Eat bread with gusto,
Drink wine with a robust heart.
Oh yes—God takes pleasure in your pleasure!
Dress festively every morning.
Don’t skimp on colors and scarves.
Relish life with the spouse you love
Each and every day of your precarious life.
Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange
For the hard work of staying alive.
Make the most of each one! - Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 (MSG)

Live the Moment because each day is God’s gift.

We’ll keep on dreaming about the perfect Thanksgiving for today. Changing our Preparatory Chaos stage will take a bit more commitment and we’ll have to save that for another year. But for our family this year, we’re choosing to change the last stage - Overstuffed and Gimme More. Which stage will you change? 

No open computer and sales fliers for us on Black Friday and Cyber Monday - just purposeful time to revel with family and friends as we prepare our hearts for the Christmas season. Whatever hasn’t been purchased from our gift giving list will wait at least another week and I’d bet the sales will still be there anyway.

I’m confident that one step at a time, we all can reclaim and redefine our Thanksgiving tradition. 

May your week be one of true thankfulness and joy.

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody