somebody else’s grandma

Don’t you love a good story? Me too!

A good story draws you in. It not only engages the mind, but the heart as well. We have a lot of great storytellers on both sides of our family. But even if your family doesn’t have good storytellers. The stories are worth telling, hearing, and knowing. Knowing family stories helps us remember who we are. It strengthens our identity.  

Let me share one of our family stories with you. I’ve told this story before, but I can’t help sharing it again. It’s a good one. 

Somebody Else’s Grandma

I never met my great grandma, but several years ago, my uncle was in an antique shop and found her photograph. He called my dad and told him. Excitedly, my dad called each of his kids - my two brothers and me. He told us that Uncle Marlin had found his grandma’s photo and even emailed us a picture of it among the shelves at Old Sled Works in Duncannon, Pennsylvania. My husband Bryce and I love to frequent antique shops and this is one we visit regularly. Although, somehow, we have never seen my Uncle Marlin there. 

Immediately, I knew what I wanted to get Dad for Christmas. With $50, our family went the next morning to get this photo of my great grandma. The frame was tattered but the picture itself was in remarkable shape. It was big though - almost 2 feet high. And boy was she a homely woman, but how could I resist? She was family and it would bring my father great joy. 

Looking back on this moment, it’s curious that I justified this gift by the family connection rather than clearly thinking through the large size of this two dimensional portrait of a woman I knew nothing about. But as I said, she was family. 

Without hesitation, we bought the photo, broken frame and all. We didn’t even get home before I got a call from my brother, Steve. Apparently my brother and his wife had the same thought but we got there first. They were searching for the photo but it was already gone. Steve and I did the only reasonable thing for siblings in this situation. We made a deal. Since I bought the photo, Steve would get a new frame and Dad would get this treasured gift. Feeling triumphant, I delivered our great grandma to Steve and looked forward to Christmas several months away. 

With a phone call weeks later, disaster struck. My brother was on the other end of the call. 

“Jody, you got somebody else’s grandma.” 

“I’m sorry, what?”

“You got SOMEBODY ELSE’S GRANDMA!”

I had no idea what my brother was saying. It made no sense. My brother was with our extended family for breakfast. As Uncle Marlin bragged about finding his grandma’s photo at Old Sled Works, he was quickly rebuked by our great aunt who had the right grandma’s photograph in her living room! 

My brother repeated, “You got SOMEBODY ELSE’S GRANDMA!” We roared with laughter. 

Obviously the Christmas plan changed and Steve, who hadn’t gotten the new frame yet, asked what I wanted him to do with Somebody Else’s Grandma. My reply, “I want her back. I paid 50 bucks for her!”

I had no idea what I was going to do with this large photo of a homely woman who I had exactly no connection to except for a crazy story. Still, it was 50 bucks so I was keeping her. 

Over the course of the next several weeks, my brother would remind me that he still had Somebody Else’s Grandma in his garage and every time I left his house, I would forget her. 

Then, I went to my cousin’s baby shower. My sister-in-law, Lori leaned over my mother, looked me straight in the eye and said, “Somebody Else’s Grandma is in the car for you.” My mother looked horrified and confused. Lori and I burst out laughing as I responded, “I’ll get her when we leave.” I got Somebody Else’s Grandma back that day.

At Christmas that year, we gave our entire family much smaller copies of her replicated photo and shared the mildly unbelievable story. We all had a good laugh that Christmas. 

Somebody Else’s Grandma’s Rehanging Ceremony

It took several months, but we reframed the photo and picked the perfect place in our home for her - our powder room. Somebody’s Else’s Grandma is so much a part of our lives, that my brother even got the honor of ceremoniously hanging her again after our powder room was redone recently. She is Somebody Else’s Grandma but we love her. When friends join us for dinner and attempt to politely ask, “Who is that...um...lady in the bathroom? Bryce and I look at each other, laugh and say in unison, “She is Somebody Else’s Grandma!” 

Our kids know who she is and who she isn’t. It’s ironic that one of our foundational family stories is about someone else’s family member. But they say laughter lengthens your life. And we love to laugh. 

We retell this story often. It is one of our favorites. Our kids have heard it so many times, they could retell it themselves. I like this story. One of these days we’ll even record it for posterity. Looking back on what seemed so normal at the time, makes me chuckle seeing how totally quirky it is. And how absolutely “us” it is.

That’s what your family stories and my family stories are. They are not only about each of us, they make us who we are. When woven together, they reveal our character, our spiritual walk, our values, and the traditions we set. And it’s those things that let our children see who we are and who they should become. 

I hope this week you share some stories with your family. Even the crazy ones. 

And as you do, maybe you’ll find your own Somebody Else’s Grandma to confuse your friends and bring you hysterical tears of joy.

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody