transforming a family heirloom into a legacy of love

Are your family values hidden in the story of your family heirlooms? The ones that have belonged to your family for generations? 

Betty’s are. She told me an incredible story about her husband’s legacy of love. I can’t wait to share it with you. 

Decades ago, just after a short military career, Betty’s husband moved his young family into an old farmhouse near the coal mines of Pennsylvania. Betty spent her days raising her children and caring for their every need. Her husband spent his days in the coal mines and his free time creating. 

He was a skilled carpenter and remodeled their whole house. He built toy chests for the kids. And when the kids were grown, he built the granddaughters’ doll houses. His hands were always busy. Betty’s husband was a hard worker just like Betty. They taught their kids the importance of hard work and modeled how to care for family everyday. These were family values Betty and her husband wanted to pass down through the generations. 

Work in the Pennsylvania coal mines was honorable. It helped industry and the economy thrive. But Betty’s husband’s hard work in the coal mines gave him  something he wasn’t expecting - black lung, a disease caused by inhaling the coal dust down in the mine. As Betty told me this story, her eyes grew misty. He has been gone for many years, but the pain is still fresh. Before her husband’s tragic death, as he declined in health, he gave Betty a legacy of love. 

She tenderly cradled a heart shaped pendant in her hand to show me the gift her husband had given her. It had been filled with diamonds to represent his love for her. After he died, it couldn’t replace him, but it served as a reminder of who he was and his love for Betty. 

Betty’s family continued to grow as she added grandchildren, great grandchildren and finally a great great grandson. She loved her heirloom heart pendant, but Betty wanted this legacy of love from her husband to be seen and experienced by each of her family members. 

Betty’s Legacy Ring

Betty transformed that family heirloom. One by one, she removed the diamonds and replaced them with her birthstone, her husband’s birthstone, and the kids’ birthstones. It became a piece to represent her family. But Betty didn’t stop there. As she removed each diamond, she had it set in a new piece of jewelry and gave it to the family member represented by the birthstone she had placed. Betty was sharing her husband’s legacy of love with her family. What a gift! 

Betty’s transformed family heirloom gives her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, and great great grandson a reminder of who their father and grandfather was and how they can emulate  him. It reminds them of the foundation of their family. It’s a family who works hard, cares intentionally for each other, and in Betty’s words, “follows the golden rule,” of Matthew 7:12 in the Bible. 

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. - Matthew 7:12 NIV

This verse follows a passage where God is known  as a good and giving father. And now Jesus is stating a principal that shows much more than navigating a way to be treated well. Following this golden rule reveals the true character of a person. Historically, our natural human reaction is to respond to negative behavior with retaliation. When our son gets punched by another kid, we want him to fight back and stand up for himself. Conversely, when our daughter praises a friend for her kind deed, we want her friend to commend the good she sees in our child. 

This is what makes Jesus’ words here and in Matthew 5:38-42 such a culture shock to all of us. It’s not about retaliation. 

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. - Matthew 5:38-42 NIV

Just as God has shown through the Old Testament, the Law and the Prophets, it’s about character and treating others in a way that is good and God honoring. 

Betty’s husband’s legacy of love to his wife was represented by a carefully chosen heart pendant. As a mom who invested in her children everyday, Betty’s legacy of love was teaching her family to be kind and loving toward others, one of the many values that Betty and her husband desired to instill in their family. 

Do you practice the values taught in Matthew 7:12 of treating others how you want to be treated? What are your other family values? Forgiveness? Resilience? Thankfulness? There are so many. Make a list. Here’s a resource if you need one: Core Values. 

Like Betty did for her children and grandchildren, have the generations before you given you a legacy of love that you can pass on to your children? Mine did. Let’s practice that legacy this month and see how it impacts our families. 

Every family needs help thinking about their legacy of love. If you would like to share what your legacy of love is, let me know by sharing your legacy story and tagging @reddirtrecollective on Facebook. I’d love to hear your story.

Searching for wisdom and asking for grace,

Jody

Note: For privacy, Betty’s name was changed.